Thursday, August 12, 2010

Ten Commandments of Hyderabadi Driving

My recent months of driving on Hyderabad's roads and innumerable enlightening discussions with experienced hands at the wheels in this part of the Deccan have enabled me to come up with the ten commandments of driving that every Hyderabadi lives up to every time he/she takes to the roads.Here they are:

(1) Thou shalt carry at least three people on a two wheeler and ten in a three wheeler

(2) Thou shalt always have one hand on the horn and honk without rhyme or reason

(3) Thou shalt be on the rightmost lane and give a right indicator while turning left
Corollary:Thou shalt be on the leftmost lane and give a left indicator while turning right

(4) Thou shalt strictly avoid U-turns; Driving on the wrong side of the road is a birthright akin to the demand for Telangana

(5) Thou shalt drive through on observing a green signal; drive through faster during an orange and speed through on seeing the red

(6) Thou shalt never put on headlights in the night

(7) Thou shalt avoid road signs like the plague

(8) Thou shalt cross roads like a walk in the Nizam's park

(9) Thou shalt park the vehicle in the middle of road and ask for directions

(10) Thou shalt drive with only one hand as the other hand is to be used for ordering home delivery of biryani from the mobile

Q: What are traffic rules?
A(Hyderabadi):Two movies...(1)Traffic
(2) Rules
I have seen both as that's the only other thing I do besides having my
mandatory Biryani on weekends..

Q: What would you call a Hyderabadi who follows traffic rules?
A: Extinct

Thursday, July 29, 2010


Marooned on the island of regret many times
For heartfelt losses and imagined crimes
Finally jumped on the ship of Hope sailing by
Rather than become an old man waiting to die
Went a distance but regret made me burn
Thoughts went back to lost souls..never returned
And as my mind..filled with dread
Realized I had been pulled back to the island of regret
Seemed that nothing was learned
Frittered away freedom well earned
Tired, frustrated...resigned to my fate
A void devoured me,my love,my hate
But somehow hope helped me stay afloat
Will helped me build my escape boat
Grabbed it with both hands and swam across
The chance to gain tomorrow over yesterday's loss
Navigated those sodden nautical miles
But longing eyes gazed upon me; not the expected smiles
Remorse filled me to have caused so much pain
All my efforts had gone to vain
Ephemeral victory leaped to its death
Was back to the island of regret
There I was again......waiting to die alone
And then Hope decided to have me flown
Took to the wings; soaring high
Seemed Destiny had cast me a lucky die
But then I entered those clouds of doubt
And my flight nosedived straight south
Then it was..certain as death
That I was back on the island of regret...

Monday, May 31, 2010

Selfish...(Selfless but Something Fishy)

I make you you falter
I hold you alter
I you weep
I am you sink deep
I you bid a higher price
I tell the you believe my next lies
I worship you...for my unfulfilled prayers
I punish you...for my tears
I love you...for your wealth
I treat pay for my health
I trust you...because I can't check
I bullshit you..for my next fat paycheck
I martyr you..because I hate to die
I praise you...because I can't vilify
I vote I hope to have a voice
I hope...because...really...I got no choice

Saturday, April 24, 2010

Amore No More

I would first of all like to thank my friend Chater a.k.a Chatterjee the "new kid on the blog".His last post plunged me into a melancholy of thoughts with nostalgic and reflective being the most prominent color themes.

Love, Liebe, Amore...whichever language it is spelled in.The only language it sounded was Greek to me.To be honest..maybe I will never really understood the depth of that word or what it really encapsulates.Maybe I never will.Maybe it is just a product of some chemical reactions in the brain genetically programmed so we can find a partner and breed.Infatuation, liking and loving somebody have all been stations that kept coming and going with a one way relationship of liking somebody finally stopping at the infatuation platform.I think I had my share of opportunities in all three categories.Maybe more so in the first category than the other two..Maybe those hormones running wild and nothing more.Maybe it is the same now.I also do remember being the object of somebody's affection but turning it down in a friendly way...again maybe I feared intimacy or to borrow from my friend's blog. The quote of the very non communist Groucho Marx - "I don’t want to belong to a club that will accept people like me as a member".Maybe life would have been very different if I had accepted her affection with me writing hosannas to "true love" rather than this blog entry.

But age has definitely been a major factor in determining the passion/intensity of those emotions or to channel them in a more controlled or milder stream.It has surely fucked my brains in more ways than one.That uncontrolled and almost puerile or idealistic( depends which way you want to see it) fascination or hope to find that ultimate person or special somebody has been tempered to find somebody "compatible"(a politically correct term to see if two people can live together for a fairly reasonable time without killing or divorcing each other and breed some progeny along the way).I don't visualize myself waiting at the bus stop, the stairs, coffee shop or library to just catch a glance or muster the courage to just open a conversation with that woman or girl I am crazy about.Write stupid poems,take part in contests just because she hosts them and walk miles to a bus stop and take a bus with a circuitous route so I get those extra bit of time everyday to see her.No.. that's not going to happen.

Now somewhere hovering between the practical/carnal and emotional aspects it will never be the same again.In fact the intensity and frequency of falling for some one itself has been tending to the limit of naught with maybe the fear of getting hurt.The fear of loss again..of drifting apart.Or the fear that familiarity will breed contempt.What if the love and happiness now is just a facade and when the curtain opens things will not be the same?..

Then again when after a long hiatus you again start talking with somebody and slowly without your knowledge you sail into the boat of liking somebody and the oars of desire make you feel as if you have almost reached that promised land of mutual love and affection and then you realize that the island you saw was just a mirage.Because that boat you took had a hole called reality which filled up the water of "practical decisions" that sunk it even before you could see it.

So the conundrum continues..and maybe the coward inside me lifts up the white flag and says "Amore No More.My world has no place for that"

Difference between Knowing and Experiencing

I was seeing Good Will Hunting after a long time and came across this amazing piece of dialogue..I think it encapsulates the real difference but what we "know" and what we "realize" by experience:

So if I asked you about art, you'd probably give me the skinny... on every art book ever written. Michelangelo? You know a lot about him. Life's work, political aspirations. Him and the pope. Sexual orientation. The whole works, right? I bet you can't tell me what it smells like in the Sistine Chapel. You never actually stood there and looked up at that beautiful ceiling. Seeing that.
If I ask you about women, you'll probably give me a syllabus of your personal favorites. You may have even been laid a few times. But you can't tell me what it feels like to wake up next to a woman... and feel truly happy.
You're a tough kid. I ask you about war, you'd probably ah throw Shakespeare at me, right? "Once more into the breach, dear friends." But you've never been near one. You've never held your best friend's head in your lap... and watched him gasp his last breath lookin' to you for help.
If I asked you about love, you'd probably quote me a sonnet, but you've never looked at a woman and been totally vulnerable. Known someone that could level you with her eyes. Feelin' like God put an angel on Earth just for you, who could rescue you from the depths of hell. And you wouldn't know what it's like to be her angel, to have that love for her be there forever. Through anything. Through cancer.
And you wouldn't know about sleepin' sittin' up in a hospital room... for two months, holding her hand, because the doctors could see in your eyes... that the terms "visiting hours" don't apply to you. You don't know about real loss, 'cause that only occurs when you love something more than you love yourself. I doubt you've ever dared to love anybody that much.
You're an orphan, right? Do you think that I'd know the first thing about how hard your life has been - how you feel, who you are - because I read Oliver Twist? Does that encapsulate you?
Personally, I don't give a shit about all that, because - You know what? I can't learn anything from you... I can't read in some fuckin' book.

Tuesday, April 20, 2010


People are strange when you're a stranger
Faces look ugly when you're alone
Women seem wicked when you're unwanted
Streets are uneven when you're down

~ The Doors

Friday, April 09, 2010

The Journey

Sitting by the window of perspective
With the train of thoughts and memories' stations to arrive
Youth and fountain of life on my side
Prepared for the experience filled ride
Platform of incidents and events
Perfume of life with its' variegated scents
Toddler taking baby steps to childhood
People moving forth despite obstacles; some who brood and just stood
A brown man thrown off to the platform
Challenged the status quo when most followed the norm
Hopeful wards sending off children to their future
Soldiers conscripted to the battlefield butchered
Months to years to decades
Stationed through many jobs and trades
Engined by the lessons and experiences
Happiness...sadness..sometimes lost my senses
I thought I had all there that was to be seen
The highest rise, the deepest fall and all there was in between
And then I saw the same brown man much older now
With millions of crowds thronged to cheer him on
From cipher to hero was his journey
From tear drop to supporters like waves of the sea
My destination was closing in
Got up to get down but felt a weakness within
One moment to reflect in the mirror
Conforming my deepest fear
Time and age finally taken a toll on me
And then I realized..I am...close to the end of my journey..